
Starting Your Journey
Starting Your Healing Journey: Where to Go for Help When You’re Finally Ready to Heal Childhood Sexual Abuse There comes a

Starting Your Healing Journey: Where to Go for Help When You’re Finally Ready to Heal Childhood Sexual Abuse There comes a

Many survivors of early trauma carry an unspoken question deep within: Can I ever heal enough to create healthy, lasting love?

Trust is like oxygen because we don’t think about it until it’s missing. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, trust was

When most people think of boundaries, they imagine rules, restrictions, or pushing people away. But healthy boundaries aren’t about closing doors

Living through childhood sexual abuse can feel like the trauma defines your life. There’s something more than survival, another side of

Have you survived sibling sexual abuse or do you suspect something happened to someone you love? This post will help you

Sibling abuse is a difficult topic to discuss, but when the abuser is a sibling, it becomes even more complex and

Denial is a defense mechanism, a shield that our psyche holds up to protect us from painful truths. While it serves

Denial is a survival mechanism, that can keep us trapped in a past we don’t fully understand. I sat down with

Motherhood is often described as one of the most rewarding journeys a woman can experience. However, for many women who are

I loved meeting with Jeanne Byrd, an integrative Nutritionist, to discuss how food, movement, & mindset can help heal the wounds

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you felt like you were giving everything, but your partner just wouldn’t

I’m reaching into a space that may feel especially tender—a space where early wounds shape the way we see ourselves and

Reflecting on early childhood experiences, I see how much my past shaped how I connected with others. The need to protect

Many people reevaluate their marriages in January. Survivors of CSA have a particularly difficult time leaving. There is support. If you’ve
From Trauma to True Love: Finding Freedom from the Impact of Sexual Abuse, is my podcast inspired by my book, “Freedom from Shame.”
I invite you to join a space dedicated to healing, compassion, and triumphing over trauma. In each episode, our discussions, rooted in the wisdom of my book, create a groundbreaking environment for survivors, allies, mental health advocates, and even those who have caused harm, to navigate the complexities of the healing process. Through candid conversations, expert interviews, and personal narratives, we illuminate the intricacies of childhood trauma and it’s impact on our adult relationships, weaving in the principles of restorative justice to foster understanding, empathy, and constructive dialogue.
From Trauma to True Love is more than just a podcast; it stands as a sanctuary of support, guidance, and hope for those touched by the shadows of this deeply sensitive and impactful issue including individuals on all sides of the healing process. It serves as a beacon, providing a roadmap for resilience and the journey to reclaim one’s life after such profoundly impactful experiences. Join me in this transformative journey toward reclaiming lives together.
Take a look at my recommended reading list for the best books on personal growth, child behavior, and emotional healing. You can also check out The Freedom Project, a heart-led initiative that’s all about bringing people together to evolve beyond the impact of childhood sexual abuse.
The first spiritual law states “everything is as it should be.” This concept aligns with the law of acceptance, which encourages embracing life as it is, as part of the larger theme of understanding the law of acceptance. It’s not easy to embrace this law when your spouse just lied to you about your financial situation, cheated on you with your best friend, or is threatening you with divorce. Nor is it easy to embrace this law when your heart is broken and you are in the most intense pain wishing to not have the experience you’re having and for your life to be different. This is where the law of acceptance can be challenging yet transformative. There’s an old Sufi story about a farmer and his son. Have you heard it? The farmer heads out to feed his animals and his prized horse is dead. As soon as the village learned of this tragedy, they came to express their condolences. The farmer heard the same message throughout the day: “What a terrible thing to have happen to you. This is the worst thing that could happen.” The farmer repeated what became a mantra to the well-wishers: “Perhaps…. perhaps…” The following week, while the farmer was working the land, his eldest son runs to tell him that he just captured a herd of wild horses. This time the villagers were excited for the farmer and came to congratulate him on his good fortune. It reflects moments in life where accepting events as they unfold can align with the principles of the law of acceptance. “You are so lucky! Look at the blessing that has been bestowed upon you. An entire herd of horses! You rock!” Interestingly, the farmer’s reply was the same as before, “Perhaps…” A few days later he sent his son to tame the wild horses. In the process, the farmer’s son was thrown to the ground and his leg was broken, reiterating how the acceptance of life’s uncertainties plays into understanding the law of acceptance. You know the villagers were pretty tight back then, so they all heard of the tragedy. Once again the villagers came to check on the boy and to inform the farmer of what bad luck he was having. The farmer’s reply once again was, “Perhaps… perhaps.” The farmer’s son was still bedridden several weeks later when the emperor sent his messengers to round up all the boys who could fight in a local battle. Of course, they passed the boy right on by when the messengers saw how injured he was. A few weeks later, the neighbors, who lost their sons in the battle, again come by the farmer’s home and say, “You’re so lucky to have your son home with you.” And do you know what the farmer said? You’re right, “Perhaps… perhaps.” Acceptance: It may be the last thing you want to do, yet it is central to having a life guided by the principles of the law of acceptance. Usually, when we’re in the middle of a crisis, our first thought tends to be something like this: It shouldn’t be like this. Why is this happening to me? The Law of Acceptance teaches us that our lives are always evolving whether we know it or not and invites us to remember that what may appear to be a tragedy, maybe in reality leading us to the fulfillment of our dreams. When you are living this law you will be heading toward a trusting relationship with the Divine. You will trust on an intuitive level that the changes that are taking place in your life are ultimately for your highest good – even when you are hurting. The Law of Acceptance is the first step toward healing your broken heart. As you embrace The Law of Acceptance, you will open yourself up to reinventing yourself and creating the life that you most desire, embodying the principles of the law of acceptance. RESOURCES: exercise, book, and a video. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford The Right Questions by Debbie Ford Byron Katie — Is it true? In this powerful video, Byron Katie highlights a story about a woman who doesn’t even know what she wants. After asking a few important questions, she discovers that she doesn’t even want her husband back. Insights from the law of acceptance can help one uncover such truths. Can you imagine the freedom you can have from discovering what you really want?
The Law of Creation frees you to consciously step out of self-imposed limitations and into the infinite wonder of what is possible for your life. When you have integrated the other six spiritual laws, you will be well on your way to a healed heart and in the perfect position to go for what you desire. Once you have forgiven and broken the painful ties that bind you to the past, you will be in the perfect place to create from clear ground. You deserve to be free from the pain of the past and to live with an open, loving, and trusting heart. It may be hard work for you, but I guarantee you that if you make the commitment to heal your heart, it will be well worth it. Understanding the law of creation can guide you in this process. If you were standing on a blank canvas, what would you create? AN EXERCISE Give yourself a little time to dream. Before you begin this 10-15 minute journaling exercise, clear your mind of all limitations. If you notice doubt or fear creep in, just ask it to sit aside for your journal time. Use the following prompts to imagine what you would create: If your heart were completely healed, what would you be able to have in your life? Consider how the principles of creation law might affect this. What is it that you would be able to do that you haven’t been able to do up to now? Where would you live? work? What new things would you try? A new hobby? Would you take up an activity that you haven’t participated in for years? How might you look at the world differently, in accordance with creation law? If you had the feeling in your heart that you were unstoppable, what actions would you take this week? What old grudges would you drop? What fears would you let go of? If there were no limitations, what would your life look like? Once you’ve written for about 15 minutes, fold the piece of paper up and place it under your pillow. Read it every night for a week. Feel free to add to it or update it as you re-read it. Let the good feelings build in you as you commit to creating what you want for your life, guided by the ideas behind the law of creation. Share with me what you discovered about your desires through embracing the principles of creation law. via My Heart Heals With The Law of Creation | My Heart Heals.
On Self-growth.com, Amanda Butler discusses this universal law in detail. The most powerful reason to forgive is for your own freedom. I’ve often heard Debbie Ford say, “forgiveness takes place in your heart, not your mind,” and it’s so true. This Spiritual Law often takes a little extra time to integrate, especially when deep betrayal is involved, but embracing the Law of Forgiveness can liberate you from past wounds. It is empowering to know that once you have fully integrated the Law of Forgiveness, you will be free from the past and ready to move completely into a future that you create for yourself. Forgiving can be difficult, but it’s necessary to forgive so you can live your life. Applying the Law of Forgiveness means confronting your own challenges in forgiving. Here’s an extreme example: I was touched very deeply by Azim Khamiza, who practices The Law of Forgiveness every day. In 1995, his son Tariq Khamiza lost his life to a gang-related murder. Azim shares how holding resentment takes up precious space in our minds. This is true for all situations. If we are holding onto resentment, the person we hurt the most is ourselves. In forgiving, Azim has been able to create a foundation that educates and empowers. What will you be able to create through your forgiveness? What could you do with all that resentment that you hold for someone you once loved? or for someone who has hurt you? Here’s some more… In this short video, you see how forgiveness can benefit all of humanity. You might have to look a little, or should I say–open your heart, to see the possibilities resulting from your forgiveness. It may not be this dramatic, but your forgiveness will change your world if you follow The Law of Forgiveness principles. via My Heart Heals With The Law of Forgiveness | My Heart Heals.
I was talking with one of my clients in an off-scheduled call during my morning yoga routine. She was distraught with emotion. It got me thinking about the divorce and global warming connection, as we started making the analogy of how divorce can be described through weather patterns. The divorce and global warming connection explores how personal upheaval parallels global environmental changes. We have EARTHQUAKES! This is the initial shock that rocks our foundation, destroying what we’ve grown and built over the years. We don’t know how much damage there is until we get underneath the structure. Sometimes the structure can be rebuilt, and others it needs to be completely torn down or abandoned. What do we learn from the earthquake? The importance of a strong foundation that is built on honest and open communication, and true intimacy and vulnerability. We learn the importance of creating a partnership from a foundation of shared values, hopes, and dreams. We learn the importance of knowing ourselves deeply before getting into a relationship in the first place. We learn the dangers of building our foundation on denial, resentments, and withheld communications. When reflecting on earthquakes, notice how the connection between divorce and global warming also involves sudden, foundational changes in both personal and environmental arenas. We have TORNADOS! These are the emotions that rip through us leaving us in a pile of rubble and not knowing how to clean up the mess. Sometimes, we don’t even know where to start. This is when we need to call in Red Cross! Get help from people who know the terrain and has access to the federal emergency fund. This is where you employ the support of friends to hold you when you cry and therapists, and coaches who have your back and help you navigate the emotional waters of divorce so you come out the other side empowered and ready to move on with confidence, an idea also examined in the divorce and global warming connection. In the midst of these emotional tornados, it’s worth seeing the unique ways the global warming and divorce connection shape our reactions and recovery. While grief is anything but linear, we’re highly trained and have experience and expertise in helping you reinvent your life after divorce or breakup. The divorce and global warming connection suggests that both require adaptation and resilience. We have FLOODS and Wild Winter Storms! These are the endless tears of grief that envelop us as we begin the process of letting to and accepting our loss. It can be very difficult to let go, even if we know it’s the right thing for us. We grieve the loss of an intact family, we grieve the loss of companionship, we grieve the loss of friends and family, and we grieve the loss of our hopes and dreams for a happy family, similar to the experience described in the divorce and global warming connection. Indeed, the connection between global warming and divorce often emerges through metaphors of overwhelming floods of emotion and real environmental instability. “You cannot heal what you cannot feel,” is a motto I live by. While denial is an active component of the 5 stages of grief that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified, sweeping your feelings under the rug or pretending you’re okay will only prolong the grieving process. Your birthright is to feel! While it may seem you will go out of control or that you will go so deep you won’t come back, if you give yourself permission to feel fully, then you will come out the other side feeling cleansed and renewed – just like the day after a huge thunderstorm. If you’ve ever been in one, you know the quality of freshness and aliveness is tangible – and delicious! Interestingly, emotional healing draws parallels to the global warming and divorce connection, reminding us both events require awareness and process to move forward. We have GLOBAL WARMING! – more commonly known as Hot Flashes! Yes, divorce is compounded when you’re in your forties and fifties because many of us question our attractiveness and F*#%ability. We question our value and ability to attract a partner. Our bodies are changing! Our emotions and even our sleep patterns are affected by menopause. A friend of mine said that menopause means, MEN – o – PAUSE – and while she claims it’s a time to take a pause from men, I say it’s a time to Reclaim Yourself! Pay attention to the interconnectedness of your inner and outer experiences. Take the time to delve deeply into your belief system and become internally referenced. Let go of patterns of self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and ways of thinking, and embrace your authentic core essence of who you are! As you do so, keep in mind the surprising connection that exists between global warming and divorce, reminding us of the power of transformation and adaptation in both realms. We have the RAINBOW! Divorce is the perfect catastrophic life event to give birth to yourself! It’s a golden opportunity to learn who you are and to commit to a consciously created life of your choosing. There is life beyond divorce, and more often than not the struggles immediately following a divorce can bring you a better life. Imagine the rainbow and remember the promise of hope and renewal of life after the destruction! You can do it! You will get through it! And you don’t have to do it alone, as highlighted in discussions about the divorce and global warming connection! This is where Spiritual Divorce and my Reclaim Yourself After Divorce process help. First Spiritual Divorce helps remove the layers of shame and guilt as you learn and integrate universal spiritual laws that heal your heart and empower you to move on with confidence. After you complete the one-on-one intensive Spiritual Divorce process or an online Study of Spiritual Divorce, then you can begin the Reclaim Yourself Process and fall in love with yourself, regain your confidence, grow your self-esteem, read more…
Music as a self-care practice! Music is an important part of our lives, isn’t it? There are certain songs that take us back to a specific time of our lives, like our teen years, or an event, like our wedding day. Just like a breakup music playlist can help us heal, my ex-brother and sister-in-law got married to the Beatles song, “Will You Still Love Me When I’m 64?” They’re still together. Creating a breakup music playlist can aid in processing emotions during tough times. I should have known where my marriage was headed when my husband asked the mariachis to serenade us with, “El Asesino”, which, in Spanish, means The Murderer (in case you were wondering). Oh, that should have been a red flag that I was creating my breakup music playlist. And today it makes sense that one of my favorite songs to listen to several years into our marriage was Willie Nelson’s Country & Western hit, “You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille.” I hadn’t been happy for a long time. Music connects the head and heart! After I left my marriage, I listened to a lot of music that was heart-opening, like “Ra Ma Da Sa” by Snatam Kaur. I was very intentional listening as I engaged in my Kundalini yoga practice. A breakup music playlist often includes songs like these to open the heart and heal. And then I listened incessantly to Michael Franti. I resonated with songs like “Hey World (Don’t give Up),” because I felt like my world was a war zone. It gave me hope and I felt like I was asking the Universe to not give up on me -personally! Oh, and I learned to drum – it was like listening to my own heartbeat that I had lost touch with. A few years later, my lover turned me onto Prog, and the musical bars were raised! Listen to Spock’s Beard’s masterpiece, “The Doorway.” Isn’t it beautiful? Listening to this, can you see how relationships can serve as a catalyst for our evolution? Creating and curating a breakup music playlist can provide a doorway to knowing ourselves more deeply. Music can be irreverent! But, that’s fun! I love empowering music, and one of my favorite singer/songwriters is Storm Large. She’s not for everyone, but she tells it like it is and she says things that most of us would never dare speak out loud. Like this inappropriate song called, “I Want You to Die!” It is appropriate, however, for the angry hurt moments…. She’s a powerhouse who has lived through abuse, neglect, and depression. I love her! And have seen her in concert a couple of times. She has a wide range and is comfortable performing in jeans and a t-shirt or a fancy gown, like when she played Carnegie Hall. I personally think every woman should know Storm. You can check out her racy music, I’ll just share a mild one here that is perfect for getting over someone. The song could fit perfectly on a breakup music playlist. Here’s Storm’s version of “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” Let’s Co-Create a Playlist! Now it’s your turn? Share your EMPOWERMENT music here! What are some fabulous songs, artists, and genres you listen to? Perhaps you have your favorites for building a breakup music playlist?
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