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  • Music as a self-care practice! Music is an important part of our lives, isn’t it? There are certain songs that take us back to a specific time of our lives, like our teen years, or an event, like our wedding day. Just like a breakup music playlist can help us heal, my ex-brother and sister-in-law got married to the Beatles song, “Will You Still Love Me When I’m 64?” They’re still together. Creating a breakup music playlist can aid in processing emotions during tough times. I should have known where my marriage was headed when my husband asked the mariachis to serenade us with, “El Asesino”, which, in Spanish, means The Murderer (in case you were wondering). Oh, that should have been a red flag that I was creating my breakup music playlist. And today it makes sense that one of my favorite songs to listen to several years into our marriage was Willie Nelson’s Country & Western hit, “You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille.” I hadn’t been happy for a long time. Music connects the head and heart! After I left my marriage, I listened to a lot of music that was heart-opening, like “Ra Ma Da Sa” by Snatam Kaur. I was very intentional listening as I engaged in my Kundalini yoga practice. A breakup music playlist often includes songs like these to open the heart and heal. And then I listened incessantly to Michael Franti. I resonated with songs like “Hey World (Don’t give Up),” because I felt like my world was a war zone. It gave me hope and I felt like I was asking the Universe to not give up on me -personally! Oh, and I learned to drum – it was like listening to my own heartbeat that I had lost touch with. A few years later, my lover turned me onto Prog, and the musical bars were raised! Listen to Spock’s Beard’s masterpiece, “The Doorway.” Isn’t it beautiful? Listening to this, can you see how relationships can serve as a catalyst for our evolution? Creating and curating a breakup music playlist can provide a doorway to knowing ourselves more deeply. Music can be irreverent! But, that’s fun! I love empowering music, and one of my favorite singer/songwriters is Storm Large. She’s not for everyone, but she tells it like it is and she says things that most of us would never dare speak out loud. Like this inappropriate song called, “I Want You to Die!” It is appropriate, however, for the angry hurt moments…. She’s a powerhouse who has lived through abuse, neglect, and depression. I love her! And have seen her in concert a couple of times. She has a wide range and is comfortable performing in jeans and a t-shirt or a fancy gown, like when she played Carnegie Hall. I personally think every woman should know Storm. You can check out her racy music, I’ll just share a mild one here that is perfect for getting over someone. The song could fit perfectly on a breakup music playlist. Here’s Storm’s version of “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” Let’s Co-Create a Playlist! Now it’s your turn? Share your EMPOWERMENT music here! What are some fabulous songs, artists, and genres you listen to? Perhaps you have your favorites for building a breakup music playlist?

  • Fixing a relationship is much easier when you commit to these three things. These are essential tips for saving a relationship. Most people come to me for one of three reasons. They either want to move on after the ending of a relationship, they want to prepare themselves for a new relationship, or they seek advice and tips for saving a relationship they’re in. The steps are the same for all three circumstances, they’re just applied differently. Today, we’re going to focus on how to fix a relationship with some practical tips anyone can use for saving a relationship. Your relationship didn’t get “broken” overnight, right? Most relationships need fixing because of a long series of choices that span many months or years. hat’s important to know about this is that you’ll need to take responsibility in relationships — acknowledging your part in what happened and choosing actions that move you toward healing — because consciously choosing your actions gives you the power to change your circumstances.. This should give you hope, because consciously choosing your actions gives you the power to change your circumstances. That’s what you want, right? Effective strategies and tips for saving a relationship emphasize gradual change. READ MORE over at Your Tango   Here are three evidence-based and emotionally supportive ideas to help you strengthen your connection and restore intimacy; all of these work as valuable tips for saving a relationship. 1. Communicate with Clarity, Not Assumption Many relationship struggles begin not with what we say, but how we listen. Commit to clear, compassionate communication rather than guessing or reacting emotionally. That means: communication is one of the actionable tips for saving a relationship when things feel hard. Speak from the heart, not out of frustration. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel hurt when…”), so your partner doesn’t feel attacked. Avoid blaming language and instead invite conversation. When conflict arises, pause first — a cooling-off period can prevent escalation. Why it matters: Skilled communication builds emotional safety and helps resolve conflicts before resentment grows. 2. Reconnect Regularly — Intentionally Even happy couples can lose connection when life gets busy. Rebuilding your relationship means creating uninterrupted time together. Try working together on new habits or activities, as regular reconnection is among the most effective approaches and tips for saving a relationship from drifting apart. A weekly relationship check-in to talk about how you’re both feeling. Scheduling shared experiences — even small ones like a walk or simple dinner together. Celebrating little moments of gratitude and appreciation for one another. Being present and grateful for each other — not just going through the motions — reinforces emotional bonding and reduces distance in your connection. In fact, these simple actions are powerful tips for saving a relationship you value. 3. Understand and Meet Each Other’s Needs Healthy relationships aren’t about perfection, they’re about understanding and compromise. This means: Applying practical tips for saving a relationship involves listening, empathy, and mutual support at every step. Really listening when your partner shares a need. Being open about your own emotional, physical, or practical needs. Respecting each other’s boundaries. Practicing compromise — not giving up your self-worth, but finding a shared path forward. Why it works: When both partners feel heard and valued, mutual trust grows and the relationship feels more supportive and fulfilling. Learning how to balance needs and expectations is an important part of tips for saving a relationship you care deeply about. 💡 Extra Insight: What Experts Say Relationship counselors often emphasize that saving a partnership isn’t just about fixing problems — it’s about renewing connection and rediscovering your bond. Activities like regular check-ins, active listening, and spending quality time together can significantly improve emotional intimacy and reduce conflict long-term. In summary, combining expert guidance with practical tips for saving a relationship greatly increases your chances for long-term success. ❤️ Final Thought Fixing a relationship takes shared effort, honesty, and emotional courage — but it is possible. These three steps — communicate clearly, reconnect intentionally, and understand each other’s needs — are foundational actions that can start you on a deeper path of healing and connection. Put these tips for saving a relationship into practice, and your partnership will be stronger for it.

  • How we interpret the events in our lives determines our experience, often aligning with key principles like the law of choice. How can this be true? Let me give you an example. My mother left when I was a teenager, she left without saying, “Goodbye.” I interpreted her leaving to mean that I was insignificant. I felt as if I didn’t matter and was unworthy of her time and attention. The belief that I created in my own mind, led to a life in which I felt very insignificant. To avoid feeling insignificant I created situations in which I was a key player. I didn’t want to feel those old wounds and so I avoided them like the plague. Unfortunately, I still felt insignificant, and nothing I could do filled the wound. The only thing that shifted my experience was integrating the choice that we have according to the law. Once I stepped out of an automatic negatively created interpretation, I was able to consciously create an empowering interpretation of these painful events. Choosing your interpretations of the events in your life is a very powerful step toward healing your heart. There is no better way to empower yourself than to view the circumstances of your relationship through the perspective of the law of choice. We make hundreds of choices every day. Are they conscious? You make hundreds of choices about how to spend your money, how to turn left or right all day long. You choose what books to read and you choose which shows to watch on television. The amount of choice that is available to you is insurmountable. Life is a matter of choice. Why would it not be true also for your thinking? You decide what to think about what has happened to you—what it means about you. Often, you look outside of yourself for what to believe about yourself and the events of your life. When a relationship ends, you’re faced with a potpourri of choices, all filtered through a love or fear mindset. You can choose to believe that the ending of your relationship is the worst thing that ever happened to you—or the best. I’d like to support you in making a powerful interpretation of the ending of your relationship, one rooted in a love or fear mindset that chooses love. An interpretation that opens the door to a life beyond what you can currently comprehend—a life filled with peace, love, and fulfillment. When you’re faced with a potpourri of thoughts about what a relationship ending means, your interpretation matters. As you choose empowering meanings, you also learn to take responsibility in relationships — owning your part in how you think, respond, and grow — which is one of the most powerful steps toward true healing and connection. Choose your thoughts carefully in line with the law of choice! I love the work of Byron Katie because she is able to zero in on how our thoughts dictate our behavior. We will either choose to think thoughts that limit us or that expand us. We will choose thoughts that empower us or disempower us. via My Heart Heals With The Law of Choice | My Heart Heals.

  • Difficult Emotions when you move on after divorce Who hasn’t gone through a breakup and felt angry, marginalized, or powerless? Divorce can often act as a catalyst for regaining lost power, but difficult and confusion emotions can complicate the process. As conscious as we want to consider ourselves, it is actually quite common to fall into the trap of trying to regain our power through manipulation and control. You need to know where you stand, in yourself, to be able to wield your anger in constructive and empowered ways. The First Step is Knowing the Difference between resentment and righteous anger! When your anger is a result of resentment, then you can be sure that you feel unsettled inside, but when your anger is the result of taking a stand, then you will experience a sense of calm – even when you might not get what you want! Here are some ways to recognize the difference: RESENTMENT Resentment is a result of not taking care of yourself, and expecting others to give you what you want even though you haven’t directly asked for it. Feelings of resentment are common in a breakup because they build over time. In the beginning, you might have an expectation that your partner will say or do something and when they don’t live up to your expectation, then you feel let down or a little angry. Burying the little feeling is like planting a seed that eventually turns into a garden of resentment. Over time, you will discover little ‘volunteer’ plants of resentment where you didn’t expect them.When you feel resentment, you will have an experience of wanting to get back at your partner (or ex), to hurt them in some way, or “make them pay” for what they’ve done (or not done). Once you’ve made it to the point of divorce, it’s much more difficult to pull the weeds of resentment, but you can do it. I’m not here to say it’s an easy task, but I guarantee you that the work you do around releasing your resentment will help you regain your power and leave you feeling the peace of mind you so desperately want to experience. RIGHTEOUS ANGER Righteous anger is different than the anger that comes from resentment, because you’re putting your stake in the ground and letting others know what your boundary is. The way to express righteous anger is to know yourself deeply and know where you stand, so you recognize when a boundary has been crossed. Regaining your power after divorce or breakup is sacred work and in the process you will discover that many of the choices you made did not serve you. In this recognition you can stop blaming your ex and start giving yourself what you need. You’re not always going to get what you want. You may have to fight for your rights, and as you stand up for yourself from an empowered, matter-of-fact knowing, then you will be able to release your resentments gradually and naturally. It’s not about “Right” and “Wrong” We tend to look at things from our own perspectives, so don’t get caught up in believing that your righteous anger is about you being right and your partner being wrong. There is no right and wrong thinking that will bring you peace. EVER! In the knowing of who you are, you can make decisions that are ‘right’ for you and you may take other people into consideration when making your choices. What you must know is the difference between the actions you take that are from resentment or righteous anger so you don’t make a bigger mess of things, because divorce and breakups are messy. Some suggestions: As you move on after divorce or breakup, it is important to own your feelings! Know yourself and the pain you’re in and take responsibility for your part of the co-creation of your current circumstances. Don’t blame anyone else for not getting what you want. Instead vision the life you want and make choices that lead you toward peace and happiness. Set and maintain clear boundaries with yourself and others, and above all else: Take care of yourself as if you were one of the top 3 most important people in your life. COMMENTS Please! (I’ll respond!) Leave your comments below, by answering one of the following inquiries: What are your top resentments are and your struggles for releasing them as you move on after divorce or breakup? Describe what you’re doing to hold on to or let go of your resentments. What stand do you need to take? How will you commit to taking really good care of yourself this week?

  • If you’re like most people, divorce has shaken your confidence to the core, leaving you feeling anything but desirable. Understanding how to bring your sexy back after divorce is crucial to rebuilding that confidence. Sexy isn’t about the shape you’re in or the clothes you wear. It’s definitely not about what someone told you or what anyone else thinks. This understanding is key in knowing how to bring your sexy back after divorce. Sexy is all about cultivating a mindset where you’re steeped in your own juiciness. Feeling sexy is an inside-out job, not an outside-in job. Here are three quick practices to help you cultivate a sexy mindset so you can learn how to be sexy no matter what is happening in your life. These tips will guide you on how to bring your sexy back after divorce. Read 3 go-to tips to bring your sexy back on my article at Your Tango!

Leila Reyes

Author | Speaker | Relationship Coach

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