Archives

• The Law of Divine Guidance

  The Law of Divine Guidance says that you can trust the flow of your life. Whatever religion you practice will be honored and respected. I’ll support you in using whatever Divine Guidance you choose to help you find your own answers. Learning how to access your own inner wisdom will be key to integrating The Law of Divine Guidance. Your internal world is a safe place for your Divine Guidance to make itself known to you. In this process of healing your heart, I will guide you weekly into your internal world to access this wisdom. RESOURCE – Eckhart Tolle — A New Earth Maybe you watched the Oprah webcasts. I found the series very powerful and resonating. Give it a try. Meditation is a powerful tool to use to connect with your inner wisdom. Share with me how you connect with your inner wisdom. In this short video, Deepak Chopra talks about how to meditate. This is a tool I like to use to connect with my Divine Guidance. via My Heart Heals With The Law of Divine Guidance | My Heart Heals.

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• Rebuilding after divorce

  “The way we feel about our [DIVORCE] is a result of the interpretations we have made.” There is no other truth that is more powerful than you have the power to choose how you interpret the painful events of your life! When you choose to look at your divorce as a catastrophic event or a catalyst for an even better life, then you are choosing to focus on an outcome that you are likely to manifest. This fact can be devastating or empowering, and you get to choose that too! Even quantum physics says nothing is created until it is first thought of in the mind. With this as a guiding principle, it is very important to become aware of our thoughts and the choices we are making, because within these interpretations we create our reality! Your life tomorrow will be the result of the interpretations you’re making today! Build a strong foundation! I know of very few experiences that throw people off more than a relationship crisis. Rebuilding after divorce isn’t a cakewalk. Whether it’s a betrayal, death, or divorce (which feels like a death), you must rebuild from the ground up! Your interpretations of your circumstances are your foundation. Imagine rebuilding your life on the following beliefs (which are very common, so don’t feel bad if you’re feeling this): I’m a failure I’m going to be alone forever I’m worthless I’ll never have the relationship I want, so I might as well settle for what I have What do you think you will create if you approach your future with those thoughts? Now, I’m not saying to pretend you’re not having these thoughts when you are. I’m saying that these are ONLY thoughts and interpretations of the reasons for your loss, and you do have the power to choose your beliefs. This is a very important distinction and can change your life, so bear with me. Rebuilding after divorce is absolutely necessary! What if you built your foundation on these thoughts: It’s obvious that there’s something better for me, or this wouldn’t be happening to me. I am worthy of copious amounts of love, respect, and care so obviously I need to move on from this relationship, because, if I’m not getting what I need here I need to make myself available for it somewhere else. I am so excited to meet the next love of my life because it only gets better from here. A belief that “I am not ever going to find another partner”, will leave you with a willingness to settle for less from your current partner (or other people in your life). The mindset that you won’t get what you want compels you to give in to fears of taking risks… of letting go… or of being alone… You get to choose in each moment! I am guilty of making negative interpretations as much as the next. It’s okay as long as we recognize that we are creating through our thoughts, words, and actions – and get the support we need to take the risks that will evolve us to the next level of co-creation. When you recognize you’re making negative interpretations, then simply stop. Consciously choose an interpretation that empowers you to move forward in creating a life after your divorce that you can be excited about. Three Steps to a strong foundation! Alright, this could take some time because the old way of interpreting what is happing in your life could be like digging out the old footings that held your old foundation up, but you need an upgrade Baby! Be patient, compassionate, and gentle with yourself as you learn to choose an empowered perspective for your circumstances. Try these three simple steps: Write down all the negative interpretations about your life, your partner, your work, etc. Yup! Get it ALL out, and don’t hold back because your empowered future depends on this! Make a list of alternate (empowered) interpretations for each one. Write a note to yourself that says: “What is an empowered interpretation?” each time you find yourself thinking of a negative interpretation. You can read about the Law of Choice in Debbie Ford’s book, Spiritual Divorce, or you can sign up here to receive information for my next online group study of Spiritual Divorce, so you can implement powerful spiritual laws of divorce in the presence of an online community and Spiritual Divorce coach.

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• More Divorces Filed In January

  Three Reasons People File for Divorce in January There are more divorces filed in January than any other month, so says The Huffington Post. There is never a good time to break up and if you don’t do it now, you’ll probably be in it another year. With the holidays over the thought of staying in an unhappy relationship one more year can seem overwhelming. While New Year’s resolutions often fall away by February, many feel if they don’t file in January they may fall back into denial and pretend everything is okay for another year. There are many reasons people file for divorce in January, but as a divorce coach, here are the top three that I hear people talk about the most. Reason #3 – Selfishness or Compassion? Even though the decision to leave a relationship is often made during the holiday season, nobody wants to file for divorce while everyone is celebrating and gathering together as a family. Divorce brings an enormous amount of pain and suffering for, not only the couple but extended family and friends as well. The logic most people have is that filing in January is a better time. There are two ways of experiencing the decision to wait until after the holidays. Both are true. The first is selfishness and goes something like: “I couldn’t do that to my family during the holidays,” or “I don’t want to deal with it right now.” So, people wait until January. Here’s another way people experience their decision to wait: Even though it might not seem like it, compassion is driving the decision to wait until after the holidays. People who wait until January are often concerned about causing suffering to their children or spouse or extended family. There is a sense that they are easing the pain by waiting. Reason #2 – New Beginnings! The beginning of a new year always brings with it hope for a better year than the last. If they hope to save the marriage is lost, then it’s time to start over. The dread people feel around staying in a hopeless situation filled with resentments, anger, and misunderstandings is often overwhelming for people who decide to divorce in January. Most people feel if they don’t take the leap in January, they never will. So, filled with a sense of courage, they jump. Maybe they have tried everything. Maybe they were never committed enough to really put themselves fully into the relationship. It takes a ton of courage to look at yourself and be willing to retract the claws of blame long enough to really see if the marriage can be saved. I can help with that. If you’ve tried everything, give me a chance and I guarantee that if I can’t help you save your marriage, you’ll leave it knowing you’ve given it your all. You’ll also be better equipped to deal with your marriage in an empowered way and keep your heart open to a future lover. Reason #1 – To Benefit the Kids! Most people stay married for years because they don’t want to cause their children pain. They think they’re doing them a favor. But, when I ask them what they think they are teaching their children by staying in a loveless, unhappy, or abusive relationship they usually have big insights that lead to action. It’s not an easy thing to realize you’ve been teaching your children how to settle for less and how to be unhappy and how to put themselves last. When I ask my clients if they would want their children to stay in a relationship they were unhappy in, they ALWAYS reply “No!” It’s a humbling experience to realize the very reason you’re sacrificing your own happiness may be the very thing you are teaching your children to do later in life. They learn from watching you. They learn how to DO relationships by what they see you do. They really do learn by example. They learn how to be treated by what you put up within a relationship. They do! Maybe this realization helps you to decide to file for divorce in January. But, I recommend talking to me first. Because I have helped tons of people change their relationships into ones they can be proud of teaching modeling for their children. After working with me, guilt will reside and you can feel confident you’re making a good decision for yourself and your children, regardless of the decision you make. If you do decide to break up, you will understand why more divorces are filed in January than any other month.

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• 3 Tips to Saving a Relationship

  Fixing a relationship is much easier when you commit to these three things. Most people come to me for one of three reasons. They either want to move on after the ending of a relationship, they want to prepare themselves for a new relationship, or they want to know how to fix a relationship they’re in. The steps are the same for all three circumstances, they’re just applied differently. Today, we’re going to focus on how to fix a relationship. Your relationship didn’t get “broken” overnight, right? Most relationships need fixing because of a long series of choices that span many months or years. What’s important to know about this is that you’ll need to fix your relationship in the same manner — many choices over a period of time. This should give you hope, because consciously choosing your actions gives you the power to change your circumstances. That’s what you want, right? READ MORE over at Your Tango

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• Science proves we are hardwired for this

  What does the Research Show? Over a decade of research confirms two of my 7-key practices as necessary for living a happy and fulfilling life after divorce. This TedTalk by Brene’ Brown should be watched often to remind you that you are in control of the quality of your experience in life, even as your life seems to be unraveling completely out of control. Implement these practices from my PDF Report and you will shorten your healing process – guaranteed! Why is Divorce so Painful? Science has shown that we are neurobiologically wired for CONNECTION. When we experience a divorce, so many connections are severed. We no longer have a partner to sleep next to or share the successes and challenges our daily life brings. The connections we have in our social circles change. We no longer share dinner parties or vacations or holidays with the same people and it’s quite common to feel like we no longer belong. Science confirms what I have seen working with hundreds of clients going through divorce, that some of the deepest pain we experience is when we feel disconnected. Why do we allow ourselves to isolate? My research shows that 85% of people going through divorce isolate themselves from community, family, and friends. They speak of not wanting anyone to know what they are going through because they feel ashamed of being divorced. The resulting experience is that they feel alone and disconnected from possibilities. A decade of scientific research supports my findings that shame is the reason we isolate ourselves and hide what’s really going on. This only prolongs our suffering! What is shame? Brene’ Brown describes it as: The fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection? ~Brene’ Brown Brene’ goes on to explain that the underneath shame is a sense of not being good enough. Beneath this surface, she says is an ‘excruciating vulnerability, this idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.” It’s normal to worry about what people think! Not one person I’ve worked with hasn’t had a sense of fear about what people think about them, but in terms of being happy, it’s wasted energy that is counter-productive to rebuilding a life for yourself after divorce and finding your way back into connection. If you are withholding how you’re really feeling and what is really going on with you, then it’s likely you are experiencing shame. Your sense of worthiness is compromised and when you lack a sense of worthiness of receiving love and belonging, then you will isolate yourself as a protection. But, that will never give you what you really want, which research shows is connection. You must attend to your sense of Worthiness! In over six years of collecting stories, conducting interviews, and heading focus groups, researcher Brene’ Brown discovered that There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it… the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy… the thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection… After a divorce or breakup, our sense of worthiness may be shaken or it may be that a deeper wounding around our worthiness is spotlighted. It there is one thing that I’ve noticed can change your life faster is to develop your sense of worthiness to, not only have love and belonging, but to create a better life for yourself beyond your loss. Let yourself be Courageous! Courage is the one quality that needs to be cultivated when moving on after a divorce so you can experience connection. Brence’s research shows that those with a sense of courage are those that have a strong sense of love and belonging. Courage, as Brene’ explains is “to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart [and to have] the compassion to be kind to [yourself] first and then to others [because] we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.” Telling the story of who are are with your whole heart requires you to be vulnerable and honest with others about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. It requires you to be real and raw. When my clients are vulnerable with me, I make sure they know how beautiful they are in their vulnerability and how deeply connected I feel to them because of them sharing authentically. How can you create connection? There are numerous things you can do to alleviate your suffering and many of them are going to be directly related to your willingness to be vulnerable and create meaningful connections with people. Here are some suggestions: Share authentically with people about what is going on with you. Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Don’t worry about being rejected and don’t let perceived rejection stop you or inhibit you. The depth of connection you will make will be worth it. Stop complaining about everything and everyone you’ve lost and get your butt out there and meet new people. Be real with them too! Work with me to develop your sense of worthiness! Share your thoughts and *vulnerable* experience here! One way to connect is to leave a comment. Share from your heart. What are your struggles? What are your hopes and dreams for your future?   Explore Our Website Check out our recommended reading section for top picks on personal growth, child behaviour, and emotional healing. You can also check out The Freedom Project, a heart-led initiative that’s all about bringing people together to evolve beyond the impact of childhood sexual abuse.

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