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The first spiritual law states “everything is as it should be.” It’s not easy to embrace this law when your spouse just lied to you about your financial situation, cheated on you with your best friend, or is threatening you with divorce. Nor is it easy to embrace this law when your heart is broken and you are in the most intense pain wishing to not have the experience you’re having and for your life to be different. There’s an old Sufi story about a farmer and his son. Have you heard it? The farmer heads out to feed his animals and his prized horse is dead. As soon as the village learned of this tragedy, they came to express their condolences. The farmer heard the same message throughout the day: “What a terrible thing to have happen to you. This is the worst thing that could happen.” The farmer repeated what became a mantra to the well-wishers: “Perhaps…. perhaps…” The following week, while the farmer was working the land, his eldest son runs to tell him that he just captured a herd of wild horses. This time the villagers were excited for the farmer and came to congratulate him on his good fortune. “You are so lucky! Look at the blessing that has been bestowed upon you. An entire herd of horses! You rock!” Interestingly, the farmer’s reply was the same as before, “Perhaps…” A few days later he sent his son to tame the wild horses. In the process, the farmer’s son was thrown to the ground and his leg was broken. You know the villagers were pretty tight back then, so they all heard of the tragedy. Once again the villagers came to check on the boy and to inform the farmer of what bad luck he was having. The farmer’s reply once again was, “Perhaps… perhaps.” The farmer’s son was still bedridden several weeks later when the emperor sent his messengers to round up all the boys who could fight in a local battle. Of course, they passed the boy right on by when the messengers saw how injured he was. A few weeks later, the neighbors, who lost their sons in the battle, again come by the farmer’s home and say, “You’re so lucky to have your son home with you.” And do you know what the farmer said? You’re right, “Perhaps… perhaps.” Acceptance: It may be the last thing you want to do. Usually, when we’re in the middle of a crisis, our first thought tends to be something like this: It shouldn’t be like this. Why is this happening to me? The Law of Acceptance teaches us that our lives are always evolving whether we know it or not and invites us to remember that what may appear to be a tragedy, maybe in reality leading us to the fulfillment of our dreams. When you are living this law you will be heading toward a trusting relationship with the Divine. You will trust on an intuitive level that the changes that are taking place in your life are ultimately for your highest good – even when you are hurting. The Law of Acceptance is the first step toward healing your broken heart. As you embrace The Law of Acceptance, you will open yourself up to reinventing yourself and creating the life that you most desire. RESOURCES: exercise, book, and a video. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford The Right Questions by Debbie Ford Byron Katie — Is it true? In this powerful video, Byron Katie highlights a story about a woman who doesn’t even know what she wants. After asking a few important questions, she discovers that she doesn’t even want her husband back. Can you imagine the freedom you can have from discovering what you really want?
Fixing a relationship is much easier when you commit to these three things. Most people come to me for one of three reasons. They either want to move on after the ending of a relationship, they want to prepare themselves for a new relationship, or they want to know how to fix a relationship they’re in. The steps are the same for all three circumstances, they’re just applied differently. Today, we’re going to focus on how to fix a relationship. Your relationship didn’t get “broken” overnight, right? Most relationships need fixing because of a long series of choices that span many months or years. What’s important to know about this is that you’ll need to fix your relationship in the same manner — many choices over a period of time. This should give you hope, because consciously choosing your actions gives you the power to change your circumstances. That’s what you want, right? READ MORE over at Your Tango
When I saw this video, I cried… There are certain circumstances that can knock us down. Life throws us challenges: a move to a new home; a change in career; an unexpected death in the family; an illness; a divorce. We don’t always know how to get back up after big losses, but I hope this video gives you some inspiration to do it… to get back up and move forward. Feelings like sadness, grief, disappointment, frustration, and grief can overwhelm us. I know… I’ve been there! Do You Feel Alone? Going through a major life transition often leaves us feeling alone. Well-meaning friends and family can give us wonderful support, but it’s not always what we need and we can end up feeling more alone than ever. If this is your experience, you’re not alone (no pun intended). If you’ve moved, changed your career left a relationship then you have a lot to deal with. Your surroundings may have changed. The people you trusted and counted on may not be available in the ways you need them. You might need a new support system, and that is completely and totally normal and expected! Prepare Yourself! I know it’s not as easy as saying, “Just do blah, blah, blah!” You may know what needs to change. You may know what you need to do differently, but you may not be in a position to create the pathway to a better future. The woman in the video trained to run that race. She trained to win. She had a coach. She practiced every day. Take some time and create a plan – a step-by-step plan that gets you hooked into community gets you the support you need and holds you accountable for taking decisive and strategic actions to get back on top of your life. It may be a struggle. You may get out of breath feeling overwhelmed, but you can do it. Here’s how you can reinvent yourself and move toward a better future. With each and every action you take, ask yourself, “Will this keep me stuck in the past or will it propel me to the future I desire?” Ask this question for what you believe – do you need to change your beliefs? As this question for what you tell yourself in your internal dialogue – do you need to have a strong boundary with yourself to change how you talk to yourself? Choose who you will invite in as your support team. Who are your coaches and cheerleaders? Who can you complain to that won’t let you get away with complaining, but won’t make you feel bad about yourself either? Who will hold you in your highest, hold your hand every step of the way, and hold your heart in sacred trust? I will! If you want support to reinvent yourself, schedule a complimentary 30 minute call with me here and we’ll explore how I can support you.
If you’re like most people, divorce has shaken your confidence to the core, leaving you feeling anything but desirable. Sexy isn’t about the shape you’re in or the clothes you wear. It’s definitely not about what someone told you or what anyone else thinks. Sexy is all about cultivating a mindset where you’re steeped in your own juiciness. Feeling sexy is an inside-out job, not an outside-in job. Here are three quick practices to help you cultivate a sexy mindset so you can learn how to be sexy no matter what is happening in your life. Read 3 go-to tips to bring your sexy back on my article at Your Tango!
This Spiritual Law requires that you surrender to the circumstances of your life as they are. Ultimately, this is the “telling myself the truth” law. This is the way it is, now what? When you are able to surrender to what is, then you open yourself up to tons of possibilities that will change the experience you are having with your life. Surrendering is very different than giving up. When you “give up,” you feel victimized, but when you surrender you become empowered to take different actions than you have in the past. When you “give up,” you feel drained and empty, but when you surrender you are filled with inspiration and become open to a wider view of yourself and the world around you. When you resist what is, whatever you’re resisting consumes your attention and it becomes very difficult to be in the flow of your life. Surrendering opens us up to a greater reality than what we previously thought possible. Dan Millman talks about The Law of Surrender In the first half of this video, Millman teaches this law using some common circumstances we might find ourselves in. The Law of Surrender gives us new ways to be in the world. Millman also teaches an important concept that I work with in my coaching work: “Emotions are the weather patterns of the body.” During the second half of the video, Millman shares a simple way to stay in the present moment. via My Heart Heals With The Law of Surrender | My Heart Heals.
Leila Reyes
Author | Speaker | Relationship Coach
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Phone: 415-390-6583
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