I’m so sorry you’re hurting! Breaking up is painful for everyone and I’m going to tell you something that you might not want to hear… These are 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce, and if you’re experiencing divorce now, this list is especially for you.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER
I know that lies, betrayal, abandonment are all real circumstances that can leave you feeling like crap.
I know that you have a grieving process that could take years.
I know that everyone is affected by your relationship failure, but these eight essential things you truly need to hear as you go through divorce can bring you comfort and clarity when you need it most.
and…
If this resonates, trauma informed coaching can help you feel safe in love again.
I know that the ending of a relationship can be the worst thing that ever happened to you or the best thing that ever happened to you. It all depends on the lens you view your breakup through. One of the spiritual laws I teach is that you can’t always control what happens, but you can always control how you respond. Incidentally, each of the 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce provides a new lens for your perspective.
Here are a few things you can do to alleviate suffering:
- Refuse to blame yourself or others. Take responsibility for what you’ve co-created and let this situation evolve you, not devolve you. Devolution is usually a path people take because of the pain they’re in. The more conscious you are, the more you’ll move toward yourself. And keep in mind, among the 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce, self-compassion is at the top.
- Get support from someone who will hold you in your highest. It will be really easy for you to take a victim role, but what you really need is to get your power back. When you’re in the middle of a breakup it can be difficult to know how, so use all the tools you have including hiring me as your coach – your lifeline. Remember, hearing even one of the 8 essential things for divorce support can help guide you back to strength.
- Get radical! In terms of self-love that is. Make a commitment to yourself to be kind and gentle to yourself.
SOME BASIC TRUTHS ABOUT DIVORCE YOU PROBABLY WON’T WANT TO HEAR
I read a recent article in the Huffington Post and was blown away by how common these suggestions are. The only problem is that you really might not be ready to hear them. Especially if you’re in the first year of your breakup. I’m going to translate the Huffington Post’s suggestions in terms of Spiritual Divorce ™, the program that I teach, and the study of Spiritual Divorce is a great first step. In many ways, these life lessons are the 8 things you need to hear during divorce regardless of your healing stage.
- It can only get better! Well, the truth is it will probably get worse before it gets better. There are so many things to navigate when you divorce, that it can bet difficult to find that sweet spot. Divorce is like an emotional rollercoaster that doesn’t have an off switch. The spiritual law of acceptance will help you move forward. Accepting what’s happening is the very first step in things getting better. The longer you resist and deny, the longer you will be in pain. Of course, among the 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce, acceptance is a theme that repeats.
- Time Heals all wounds! This is actually true, but HOW MUCH TIME? The average divorce takes 4-8 years to heal from. Do you really want it to take that long? A friend of mine says, in relation to his work as a probate attorney, “You can pay me now, or you can pay me later.” You can jump right into your new life, but if you don’t address the issues that contributed to your breakup, then you’ll most likely end up in the same type of relationship over and over. The divorce rate is actually higher in second and third marriages, but not for my clients! In Spiritual Divorce ™ you learn a lot about yourself that will divorce-proof you! Yes, one thing you need to hear during divorce is that healing does indeed take time—and that’s part of the 8 life lessons here.
- Someday You’ll Appreciate This! On one hand, this is bullshit and on the other, it couldn’t be more true. I don’t think anyone appreciates the loss of a dream or the amount of pain that is caused by a divorce, but everyone who has a conscious divorce appreciates what they’ve learned and how they’ve evolved as a human being. In Spiritual Divorce ™ we will make sure you walk away with the goodies. This is another key insight from the 8 important things everyone needs to hear during divorce.
- You’re Better Off! Again… In some ways, yes and in some ways, life can get a lot harder. The financial burden alone challenges this assumption, but if you are conscious of your choices then you can alleviate the suffering as you create more opportunities for yourself. A huge concern for people who have kids is the impact on them. Get Rosalind Sedacca’s book, How to Tell Your Kids About the Divorce and they will be better off! Reflecting on the eight things to hear during divorce, remember that being “better off” comes gradually.
- You’ll be OKAY! This one I have complete confidence in. You will be okay. It’s a matter of time and a matter of choosing to take your power back. In Spiritual Divorce ™ we look at the spiritual law of choice and give you a buffet to choose from in regards to what you want to make your divorce mean about yourself. My specialty is helping you love yourself and know that you’re going to be okay! Feeling okay is not only possible, it’s one of the things you need to hear in the midst of divorce—and a core part of the 8 essential messages in this process.
- There’s Light at the End of The Tunnel. Okay… but life doesn’t just have ONE tunnel! One of the concepts in Spiritual Divorce is that you can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose how you respond to them. What qualities do you want to cultivate so you can move through the tunnels of your life? Among the list of 8 things you need to hear during your divorce, hope and renewal are always present.
- I’m Here if you Need to Talk! This one is a no-brainer. People who go through a divorce will often wear out their family and friends. When you hire me to take you through the Spiritual Divorce process, I will be your lifeline. You can’t wear me out. You need to know there is someone on your side who cares deeply that you come out of the other side having healed your heart, regained your power, and created a new life for yourself. Please don’t forget, one of the 8 things you need to hear during divorce is that you’re not alone and support is available.
- I’m Sorry! Oh, brother… You might not actually need to hear this! When someone says, “I’m Sorry” what do you feel? Sorry comes from two places. The first is self-centered and means, I hope this never happens to me. The second is from empathy and is genuine support. Either way, you can choose to receive the “I’m Sorry”s in a way that empowers you. There is nothing to be sorry for. Divorce affects almost half the population, so it’s a common, normal, and predictable life transition. The only thing to be sorry for is if you don’t grow from the experience. And remember, these 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce are included because everyone faces difficult emotions at this time.
I’d love to help you make the best out of this painful situation. Schedule some time with me and let’s see if I can help you. In conclusion, the 8 Things You Need to Hear During Divorce support your healing journey and offer hope for your future.
